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Dear Raju Chachu… You Took a Piece of My Childhood With You

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Dear Raju Chachu, This birthday feels different. Incomplete. Maybe because birthdays have a way of taking us back to all the birthdays that came before. And when I look back at mine, you seem to be woven into so many of them. Having been born and raised in a joint family, I have infinite memories of you etched in my mind. You weren't someone I met only at occasional family gatherings; you were simply part of everyday life. From my birth to my childhood, teenage years, adulthood, my wedding, and everything that came after, you were there. And perhaps that's why it feels impossible to think of my life story without finding you somewhere in its pages. The Chachu of My Childhood You were seventeen when I was born. I was the first child of the next generation of our family, and you were the last of the previous one. It's as if you were more of an elder brother to me than my uncle. Mom tells me that as a baby, I was almost always in your lap. Apparently, I preferred y...
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The Safety Pin of Love: A Lesson in Grief From My 9-Year-Old

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Today, I am grieving. My chachu passed away after a short and difficult battle with cancer. And yesterday morning, while I was still trying to process the reality of his absence myself, I had another difficult task, I had to tell my nine-year-old daughter, Nishka. She cried. It was a natural reaction. Just six months ago, she had met him hale and hearty. How does a nine-year-old comprehend that someone she saw laughing, talking and living his normal life only a few months ago is suddenly no longer here? Then again, I am an adult, and I am struggling to comprehend it too. But somewhere in that conversation, something happened that I wasn't expecting. I thought I was going to teach my daughter about grief. Instead, she taught me. The Safety Pin of Love After crying for a while, Nishka said something that initially left me completely confused. She placed two coins on the table and connected them by resting a safety pin across them. Then she slowly removed the safety pin and said: “Tod...
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Ten Years, One Dream: Lessons from My PhD Journey

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 May 2025. I walked across the stage, heart pounding and eyes welling up, to receive my PhD in Epidemiology. After ten long years, I wasn’t just a graduate, I was a warrior, a mother, a wife, a full-time professional, and now, a doctor of philosophy. Yes, ten years. This wasn’t your traditional academic timeline. It was a marathon, a part-time PhD done alongside a full-time job and a full-time life. And at 43, with my 8-year-old daughter cheering me on and my husband proudly holding the camera, I felt something that’s hard to describe, an overwhelming mix of exhaustion, joy, relief, and above all, pride. Here are the lessons I learned through this extraordinary journey, lessons I hope will inspire anyone walking their own long, winding road toward a dream. Sometimes the Plan Will Break, But You Don’t Have To In 2015, I began my PhD at Indiana University with stars in my eyes and a scholarship to back it. I had already earned my MPH there the year before and had a couple...
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