Ten Years, One Dream: Lessons from My PhD Journey

 May 2025. I walked across the stage, heart pounding and eyes welling up, to receive my PhD in Epidemiology. After ten long years, I wasn’t just a graduate, I was a warrior, a mother, a wife, a full-time professional, and now, a doctor of philosophy.

Yes, ten years. This wasn’t your traditional academic timeline. It was a marathon, a part-time PhD done alongside a full-time job and a full-time life. And at 43, with my 8-year-old daughter cheering me on and my husband proudly holding the camera, I felt something that’s hard to describe, an overwhelming mix of exhaustion, joy, relief, and above all, pride.

Here are the lessons I learned through this extraordinary journey, lessons I hope will inspire anyone walking their own long, winding road toward a dream.

Sometimes the Plan Will Break, But You Don’t Have To

In 2015, I began my PhD at Indiana University with stars in my eyes and a scholarship to back it. I had already earned my MPH there the year before and had a couple of publications under my belt from working as a research associate. I was ready. But a year later, the school withdrew funding. I was crushed. I almost dropped out.

But life has a funny way of pushing you toward Plan B, which sometimes turns out even better. I found a job as a Mental Health Epidemiologist at a local health department, one that not only aligned with my passion but also fully funded my studies. I transitioned to part-time status, began working full-time, and adjusted my approach.

Pauses Are Not Failures

In 2017, I welcomed my baby girl into the world. Motherhood is magical, but let’s not pretend it’s not all-consuming. I took a six-month break from my PhD. For someone who thrives on checklists and goals, it felt like falling behind. But I returned, stronger and more grounded. By 2018, I had completed all my coursework.

Don’t Let a Bad Day Undo Years of Effort

I appeared for my qualifying exam while my daughter was down with a bad viral infection. My mind was everywhere but on the exam. I considered failing it voluntarily. But my husband looked me in the eye and said, “You’ve come too far. Just try.” So I tried. And I passed, in first attempt. Sometimes, just showing up is the victory.

The Path to Passion is Often Paved with Rejections

Once past the qualifying exam, I naively believed I was close to the finish line. How hard could a dissertation be?

Turns out, very. Between 2019 and 2021, I had four research proposals rejected. Professors came and went in my committee. I spent countless nights questioning everything, my intelligence, my choices, even my worth. But something in me wouldn’t quit. My love for public health, mental health, and research was like a stubborn flame. Even in my lowest moments, it flickered quietly, refusing to die out.

Kind Mentors Can Change Everything

Just when I was beginning to lose all hope, something beautiful happened, I found a kind and motivating research guide who, along with a supportive committee, changed the trajectory of my PhD journey. They showed unwavering faith in me, faith I didn’t even have in myself at times.

They reminded me that I wasn’t just capable, I was meant to finish what I started. They encouraged me when I felt stuck, challenged me when I doubted myself, and most importantly, never let me give up. Sometimes, the right people enter your life just when you need them most. And for me, that made all the difference.

Growth is Messy, But Worth It

By 2022, I finally found a research question that I was passionate about and that satisfied the university’s rigorous criteria. I defended my proposal in 2023, and thought I’d graduate the same year.

But then came a new job, a big move, and life in all its chaotic glory. My final dissertation defense had to wait till 2025. And that’s okay.

Because the person I became in the process, resilient, wiser, and more grounded, was worth the wait.

You Don’t Need to Rush to Matter

We live in a world that celebrates the young achiever. But I’ve learned that success doesn’t have an expiration date. I wasn’t 25 when I finished my PhD. I was 43, with stretch marks, gray strands, and a whole lot of stories. And let me tell you, it was still just as sweet.

You Can Do Hard Things (Just Not All At Once)

Juggling a full-time job, motherhood, marriage, and a PhD often felt like an impossible circus act. But I learned to take it one day at a time, one task at a time, one breath at a time. Eventually, all those small wins added up to a doctorate.

So Here’s to You, Dream-Chaser

Maybe your dream is a degree. Maybe it’s a career switch, a book, a small business, or healing from something invisible. Whatever it is, please know that it’s okay to take the long road. It’s okay to pause, to pivot, to fall and get up again.

I didn’t finish in five years. But I finished.

And if I can do it, you absolutely can too.

With grit, grace, and a little faith in the chaos, you’ll get there. I promise.

Bonus: I Now Have a “Double Doctor” Title! 🩺🎓

Looking back, I smile at how life has come full circle. I began my career as an MBBS doctor in India, and now, after this long and winding road, I proudly hold a PhD from the U.S.

Two very different paths, one deep-rooted passion: to serve, to heal, to understand, and to make a difference.

So yes, I’m now Dr. Dr., and I’ve never been prouder.

If you’ve been holding on to a dream that feels too far away, I hope this story nudges you to keep going. Share your journey in the comments, I’d love to cheer for you too.