Introspection and Realization after Sushant Singh Rajput’s death — A fan’s anger, regret and wishes

Just today I listened to ‘Dil Bechara — A musical tribute to Sushant Singh Rajput’ on youtube (link above). An amazing tribute to our beloved Sushant Singh Rajput.. I had tears in my eyes early in the morning…We had a lot of bollywood stars die mysteriously in the past including Divya Bharti, Sridevi, Praveen Babi but I have never seen such a huge fan based movement to probe into a star’s mysterious death before..We mourned, sensationalized and analyzed his death over and over again…We celebrated and learned from his short but meaningful life.. we regretted, cursed and blamed for the tragic event… but we refuse to let him go, we refuse to let him fade even after his death…Maybe because when the other stars died we did not have access to internet and such wide audience that time, or we used to absorb any and every news thrown at us either real or made up due to our naivety as an audience, or there is something to him and his persona which has forced us to not accept the end of such a bright and full of life individual…For his fans he is still alive and maybe enjoying his afterlife on that piece of land he bought for himself on the moon (at least I like to believe that!)…I guess bollywood never realized how much he was loved by the Indian youth..Do you know why are we still affected by his death and are in a denial phase, even after a month without knowing him personally? Because he was amongst us, rose to fame from scratch by sheer hard work and without a godfather in the film industry, and had dreams just like us..We saw our own selves in him… He was that ‘boy next door' every person wanted to befriend…Maybe that was one of the reasons why his fans still loved him and believed in him even after bollywood journalists tried to malign his image a few years back through their ‘blind articles’ (which by the way should be totally illegal in my opinion).. after his death it feels that someone has snatched our dreams from us, or that best friend who we could confide in! For me, the same bollywood movies have started haunting me, which were initially my escape and respite from the harsh and unfair real world, at least for short time. I so wish the bollywood media had given him the kind of importance he deserved, when he was alive.. fans wanted to see more of him.. why am I being recommended his amazing interviews after his death when I was looking forward to his ‘lockdown’ interview just a few days before his death as a lot of stars were getting interviewed on YouTube that time..We as readers/audience need to be more intellectual and not just imbibe whatever is thrown our way by the media, so partly and indirectly we are also to blame in encouraging these ‘blind articles’.. it is so sad, ironical and shameful that an artist has to die just to prove himself to this world.. I could literally go on and on, but just want to say that his death has made me realize that we need more empathy in this world to make it a better place for our future generation so that we do not end up with another brilliant and promising life gone so abruptly and in such a tragic way...